


these things happen in war

by fatalnattraction



Category: Dreamcatcher (Korea Band)
Genre: F/F, incorrect jousting, lots of vignettes/flashbacks, medieval/war au, one-sided, ot7 is all here, very loosely inspired by fire emblem series, yoohyeon yearns. a lot.
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-14
Updated: 2020-10-14
Packaged: 2021-03-08 04:55:30
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 14,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27000046
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fatalnattraction/pseuds/fatalnattraction
Summary: It’s the night before Yoohyeon will be facing Minji’s faction of the Imperial army, and her memories refuse to let her have a moment of respite.
Relationships: Kim Minji | JiU/Kim Yoohyeon
Comments: 16
Kudos: 72





	these things happen in war

**Author's Note:**

> if you’re interested in the classes mentioned/want to know what they look like (dark knight, holy knight, etc) from the game that inspired this, i put together some pictures [here](https://www.scribd.com/document/479960814/Au-Classes?secret_password=HtJJaqVJJUm3aTRCEfXYnofollow)! would recommend for a better ~visual~! 
> 
> note that unlike the game it's loosely inspired by, they're all adults training for war (even in the flashbacks). 
> 
> cw: blood, violence mention!
> 
> thanks nikki for crying about this with me :')

She remembers the day she fell in love with Minji, vividly. The day Minji became more than a house leader, a mentor, a close friend. 

She remembers how powerless she was to do anything but fall even if Minji would never feel the same way.

But how could anyone blame her?

***

_“This is one of my favorite events the academy hosts,” Minji shouts behind her, raising an eyebrow at Yoohyeon while she tugs her through the deafening crowd, interlacing their fingers. “So you’re not staying in the library again this year, got it?”_

_Yoohyeon smiles and attempts a clumsy bow in response, doing her best to avoid the sea of drunken trainees threatening to collide with them at any moment._

_“Understood, my lord.”_

_Minji groans, prompting a fit of giggles from Yoohyeon._

_“Gross, please never say that again.”_

_Ever the fearless leader, Minji manages to weave them through the boisterous crowd until they reach a section of open field and can finally hear themselves think. Yoohyeon lets out the breath she was holding, breathing in the early autumn air of the Horsebow Moon._

_“Well?” Minji asks expectantly, smile somehow brighter than the afternoon sun on her face._

_They’re wearing the same Empire-issued doublets for the cool weather, Minji deciding to accent hers with a blush-colored scarf that settles just below her chin. The light makes her eyes look like warm honey, and Yoohyeon feels like she’s wading through the viscous liquid when she struggles to shift her gaze away from them._

_For some reason, Minji was looking particularly beautiful recently, the kind of beautiful that made Yoohyeon stop in her tracks rather than just passively acknowledge it. It’s not like she was doing anything differently, right? So why was Yoohyeon staring a bit more than she used to? She pushes away a nagging feeling she can’t place when Minji speaks up again._

_“What do you think?”_

_Yoohyeon turns towards the field and looks over the wooden fence she’s now leaning against, taking in the sight of the jousting arena. She had read books on jousting tournaments, of course, but the illustrations in those tomes failed to capture just how bright and colorful everything was in person._

_Flags line the stands surrounding the arena in alternating colors, each representing a different house at the training academy. The crowd begins to erupt in cheers as nearly a dozen knights on horseback enter the arena, each holding flags of their own, and begin to gallop around to further excite the attendees for the main event. The horses are a blur of bright colors and gaudy patterns when they dash past Yoohyeon, the force causing her to stumble back into Minji’s arms._

_“Don’t stand so close to the barrier!” Minji chides, squeezing Yoohyeon’s shoulders in an attempt to comfort her. “Let’s see if we can find a spot before it starts!”_

_The gesture only makes Yoohyeon want to jump out of her skin even more._

_They manage to squeeze into the stands, spotting Bora and Siyeon on the other edge of the sea of people, both waving enthusiastically to get their attention. A drunk trainee topples into Yoohyeon and nearly knocks her over when she tries to wave back, his friends laughing until Minji puts on her stern house leader voice and threatens to tell the bishops if they don’t pull themselves together. She grabs Yoohyeon’s hand and they push their way to the front of the stands, hopefully avoiding any more unwanted interferences._

_“So, why did you want me to come here again?” Yoohyeon asks once they settle into their new spots, knowing Minji was a little too uptight to partake in the drunken festivities of the other trainees, even if she wouldn’t admit it. “Not that I mind, of course, it’s just…”_

_“An interesting crowd?” Minji giggles, looking out over the arena, where the jousters are expected to begin the match at any moment. Yoohyeon can see them on the edge of the field making their final preparations, shrugging on tunics painted with their respective house crests._

_“I’m not here for any of that, I’m here to observe technique and style, maybe learn a thing or two to incorporate into my own training.”_

_Yoohyeon nods, always impressed at Minji’s dedication to constantly improving herself, sussing out her own weaknesses and learning how to gain the upper hand on the enemy._

_“As for why you’re here...you’re cavalry now, like me. Jousting may seem old-fashioned and it’s mostly for sport these days, but some generals still joust each other to this day to settle battles.” Minji states matter-of-factly, passion audible in her voice. “So take notes!”_

_Yoohyeon panics for a moment, digging her hands into the pockets of her trousers and chastising herself for forgetting ink and parchment for the second time today. Bora always teases her for being a bad liar, so she opts for an apology instead. Before she can fumble one out, Minji begins to laugh, the sound calming her like the sun’s warm rays on a chilly day._

_“I wasn’t serious! I just want you to have fun!” Minji pokes her cheek, and Yoohyeon feels her face flush in embarrassment. “If you end up learning something, it’s only a plus, right?”_

_The sound of trumpets blaring silences the crowd when the two knights participating in the tournament enter the arena, their horses clothed in bright blue, red, and silver to match the plumes on their helmets. They each carry a colorful lance, which Yoohyeon knows isn’t designed to kill like the real thing, but will still pack enough of a punch to knock one of them off their horse if they’re hit, deciding the victor._

_Once the knights settle on opposite ends of the tilt, the thin wooden barrier that separates the participants, the master of ceremonies takes the field to call the tournament to order. His voice is booming, loud and clear even with the hum of energy from the stands._

_Yoohyeon feels Minji pinch her arm as a red flag is waved, and the knights begin to charge towards each other. The action is a blur, but Yoohyeon manages to take notice of how the knights manage to dodge each other's thrusts while charging back and forth on horseback._

_“I want to see you do_ that _!” She yells to Minji, imagining her doing all sorts of stunts on her horse to avoid the enemy’s blow._

_“Maybe I already can!”_

_The crowd cheers at some particularly close calls, but Minji stays focused, eyes darting left and right between the participants._

_“Do you see that?” she states pointedly, leaning in close and causing Yoohyeon’s stomach to turn slow flips. “Look at the way he’s holding the lance.”_

_She squeezes her hand tightly around Yoohyeon’s wrist, freezing the other woman in place._

_“He’s holding it like this - his arm is way too tense, right?”_

_Yoohyeon nods in understanding, and Minji’s grip softens, still firm but without the stiffness of before._

_“You should be firm, but it’s even more important to have flexibility when trying to fight with a lance, otherwise you’ll -”_

_The knight in question is knocked off his horse on cue, hitting the ground with a thud._

_“Claim your victory!” the master of ceremonies’ voice echoes through the stands._

_The victorious knight leaps off his horse, lance pointing against the chest of his defeated opponent to symbolize the final kill._

_“Now, find your champion and bestow upon her your rose!”_

_“Do you know what happens when they win?” Minji asks, meeting Yoohyeon’s gaze._

_She doesn’t know why, but Yoohyeon feels like she’s on the edge of a precipice, the ground below threatening to swallow her whole._

_“I know it’s corny, but I love the tradition,” Minji turns her attention to the victorious knight, now presenting his champion with a red rose that she graciously accepts._

_The crowd cheers in response, and suddenly Yoohyeon imagines herself out in the arena, victorious, taking off her helmet and presenting a red rose to Minji, who smiles and presses their foreheads together._

_She feels Minji’s breath on her ear, pulling her back to an equally disorienting reality._

_“Sometimes I can’t decide if I would rather be victorious in the arena or receive a rose from the person I love,” Minji whispers, and Yoohyeon’s legs threaten to give out from underneath her. “What would you do?”_

_Realization blooms in her chest like a garden of wildflowers._

_(Oh no.)_

_(I’m in love with her, aren’t I?)_

***

“Fearsome? Is that so?” Handong quips, amusement in her voice as she sits down at the war table, finally rid of her swordmaster armor and long two-handed blade in the oppressive summer heat. 

Yoohyeon can picture her quarters as they always were - the armor for Handong’s shoulders and midsection hung on perfectly level hooks, sword placed carefully into its gold-trimmed sheath on top of a stand, immaculate white and gold Swordmaster robes folded perfectly in the order in which they would be put on the next morning.

“It’s...difficult to imagine to say the least, she was practically _bubbly_ back in our academy - do you _really_ have to do that here?” Handong snaps, smoothing her chemise and glaring down Siyeon, who makes a point to command as much attention while ridding herself of her armor as possible, letting each piece fall to the ground with a clang. 

“Oh. Whoops…” Siyeon grins shamelessly before sitting down at the war table and taking a swig of ale. Yoohyeon’s eyes follow her hand as the Wyvern Lord picks up an iron cavalry unit from the war table map and holds it to the candlelight, analyzing it closely. 

Yoohyeon would recognize the cross in the rider’s hand anywhere. The Holy Knight, painted red to designate the enemy. 

“She was,” Siyeon begins, placing the unit down in front of the blue Dark Knight. “Kind, enigmatic, focused without taking herself too seriously, skilled in combat, did everything to take care of us as the house leader...” 

_Minji._

_Charming, passionate, patient, persuasive, always makes people feel welcome, a smile brighter than the sun, laughter more beautiful than the voices of the most revered opera stars, beautiful, so, so beautiful and-_

Siyeon’s snapping fingers shake Yoohyeon violently from her reverie.

“You good, Yoohyeon?” Siyeon asks, pulling her fingers away. “You’ve been out of it a lot recently. Staring off wistfully and all that, even more than you used to back at the academy.”

Yoohyeon’s face heats slightly as she tucks a strand of hair behind her ear. 

“Sorry,” she apologizes, making a point to avoid what she fears are Handong’s knowing eyes. “I’m nervous for tomorrow, if I’m being honest.” 

It wasn’t _completely_ a lie. Yoohyeon couldn’t tell lies, they made her stomach twist with guilt and palms sweat. She could manage half-truths though - she was nervous about tomorrow’s battle. But she couldn’t talk about that, even if Handong and Siyeon had an inkling of what was going on in her mind. 

She couldn’t talk about the seemingly endless daydreams and memories of her former house leader that have invaded her mind every day since receiving word that their faction of the rebellion would be fighting Minji’s army for control of the eastern front on the first of the Garland Moon.

“Us too, it’s okay Yoohyeon…” Handong offers. She places her hand on Yoohyeon’s shoulder and rubs down her back, bringing comfort. “I know we’re doing the right thing, but, it’s surreal to imagine we’ll finally be going up against our old friends for the first time in...three years? Has it really been that long?”

It had been. And, it hadn’t really been a decision, not that it counted for anything anymore. Rebellion against the Empire had been fomenting for decades, finally coming to a head three years ago and sweeping the land in what felt like days. And the academy, a training ground for the future heads of the most powerful families on the continent, became a microcosm of the conflict. 

Every family had some image to uphold, alliance to save, exorbitant amount of wealth to protect, power to grab...and the children of these families were expected to follow suit. 

Their house at the academy, filled with the most important people in Yoohyeon’s life, was fractured in an instant. The families of Yoohyeon, Handong, and Siyeon were among the most prominent instigators of the rebellion, and as a result they were pulled out of the academy to attend rigorous training and begin the campaign to conquer land back from the Empire.

The other half of their friends remained at the academy and continued training to defend the Empire and serve their families’ interests in the centuries-old political and socio economic structure that benefitted them. 

As house leader and eldest child of her family, Minji was called to the capital and stationed as a prominent general in the Empire’s army as soon as the rebellion broke out, just days after passing her exams and inauguration as a Holy Knight. Bora, Gahyeon, and Yubin, Yoohyeon’s closest friend in the world, were expected to defend the Empire, choosing to serve under Minji’s command.

Yoohyeon remembered Minji’s inauguration like it was earlier that day instead of three years ago. Although, to say she remembered the inauguration itself might be a bit of a stretch. What she really remembered was Minji, all blazing confidence and pride and vigor. 

She always remembered her moments with Minji, and gave in to the temptation to reminisce on them even if it made each time returning to the present more painful than the last.

***

_“Boo!”_

_Yoohyeon practically jumps out of her skin at the exclamation and feeling of two hands wrapping around her waist, unable to hold in a squeal._

_Minji giggles from behind her, and Yoohyeon feels both relieved and mortified. Did her reaction really have to be so high-pitched?_

_Yoohyeon smiles, turning around and trying to focus on anything but the feeling of Minji’s strong hands squeezing her waist._

_“So, how did I look out there? Was I radiant? Capable? Dashing?” Minji teases, flipping her hair and putting her hands on her hips._

_Yoohyeon takes in all of her, trying to force her heart back down from her throat._

_Her perfectly tousled hair, the light sheen of sweat on her face, the flush on her cheeks signifying her effort in the sparring arena, the way her new Holy Knight armor hugs her body perfectly, painting her in silver and gold and crimson._

_Yoohyeon giggles, fidgeting with her hands behind her back._

_“Yes.” she finally says._

_“All of those things and more” remains unsaid._

_“Thank you Yoohyeon...if only I had a sparring partner as capable as you or Handong for my performance,” Minji grimaces, casting a glance back at the sparring arena._

_Her opponent, an overly-eager Paladin who loudly proclaimed he would defeat Minji in the days leading up to the match, was now surrounded by academy physicians performing healing magic on his many Minji-inflicted wounds. She looked relieved that they were healing quickly, but they both knew between her perfect technique and Bora and Gahyeon’s deafening cheers and whistles that his ego would not be recovering anytime soon._

_Her angelic expression never faltered, but Yoohyeon knew Minji was relishing in the feeling of breaking the spirit of someone who underestimated her._

_“Well, it would have been fun to duel you,” Yoohyeon starts, feeling laughter bubble up in her throat. “But then you would have failed your final exam.”_

_There was something about Minji that both commanded the utmost respect and admiration from Yoohyeon and also made her want to get under the house leader’s skin. Now was not the time to think too hard about why her heartbeat picked up in anticipation of Minji’s reaction._

_“Yeah well- hey!” Minji gasps as Yoohyeon’s laughter escapes. She lunges forward as Yoohyeon tries to run, pulling her back by her ear, unable to contain her laughter either._

_“You’re always so disrespectful to your elders! Don’t think I don’t know you’re doing it on purpose!”_

_“Dongie! She’s hurting me!” Yoohyeon yelps through her laughter._

_“I don’t know what you did, but you probably deserve it,” Handong says dryly as the rest of their friends run to tackle Minji with hugs, forcing them apart and toppling Yoohyeon onto the ground, making them all laugh even harder._

_Yoohyeon senses an extended hand in her peripheral vision, looking up to see Yubin smiling and raising her eyebrow. She takes her hand and is pulled up off the ground._

_“Disrespecting the house leader on her inauguration day? I know you like when Minji scolds you but even I’m surprised you like it that much,” Yubin teases out of earshot of the group, blocking a flustered Yoohyeon’s clumsy kicks in her direction._

_Yubin was her roommate, best friend, and the only one who knew why Yoohyeon stared off longingly during lessons and what she scribbled about in her journal after finishing her studies in the library in the earliest hours of the morning._

_Yubin teased her when it was just the two of them, but never judged her and was always there to talk through the feelings for Minji that hit her like a runaway carriage earlier that year. Yoohyeon and Yubin were the same age and were easily the smartest students in their year, but there was something about Yubin that made Yoohyeon feel as if she had been around for centuries. She was wise beyond her years, and Yoohyeon thanked the goddess that she was lucky enough to call her a friend._

_“By the way, I ran into Minji practicing at the training hall last night while you were in the library,” Yubin runs a hand absentmindedly through freshly-cut hair. Yoohyeon thinks the short locks suit her perfectly._

_“She told me she had something to give you?”_

_“Why are you guys being weird? Get over here!” Bora shouts, and the two approach their friends still circling and congratulating their victorious house leader._

_Siyeon waves from the other side of the circle until they lock eyes and Yoohyeon realizes she’s trying to get her attention. She puts a finger to her lips and counts from one to three on her fingers, before making a sweeping motion with her arms. A smile tugs at Yoohyeon’s lips as she nods in response._

_“Hey! What are you smirking for?” Minji points at Yoohyeon. “You think you’re off the hook?”_

_“Huh?” Yoohyeon feigns ignorance, tilting her head to the side. “What are you talking about Minji?”_

_“One...two...three!”_

_Yoohyeon rushes forward at Siyeon’s countdown, and the two hoist Minji into the air, the rest of their house jumping in to reinforce them._

_“To our house leader, Minji!” Siyeon’s voice echoes through the arena, her low timbre capturing the attention of the professors and attendees who remained. “Long may she reign!”_

_They erupt in cheers, as Minji covers her face with her hands, laughing despite herself._

_“I’m not reigning over anything!” she whines as they hoist her up further. Bora begins chanting her name, and they all join her despite Minji’s protests._

_Yoohyeon tilts her head up and watches as Minji throws her head back in laughter, before turning her head to lock eyes with Yoohyeon, sensing her gaze. She smiles as big as Yoohyeon has ever seen, with eyes squinted and cheeks flushed and a single tear escaping the corner of her eye from laughter._

_The cheers continue - at least, Yoohyeon thinks they do, but for some reason she can’t hear them anymore. Time seems to slow around her, as if her senses have decided to abandon their functions and focus solely on Minji._

_How could Yoohyeon blame them?_

_The house leader’s eyes sparkle and Yoohyeon feels her own flutter in response before she can stop them. Minji giggles and pulls her brows together in what looks like sympathy and Yoohyeon just knows she has on that “signature lovesick puppy expression” Yubin always teases her for, but she can’t seem to will it away this time._

_Minji’s smile turns soft as she pokes her cheek before returning her attention to the rest of the group, and Yoohyeon wonders how she could ever be expected to live without her._

***

Despite their lack of choice in the matter, Handong and Siyeon had adapted to their roles and did their best to come to terms with the rebellion and even believe in it. 

Handong thought the Empire did a lot of things well, like keeping the peace for generations and funding training academies like the one they all attended, but grew to feel it didn’t go far enough. Her family was by far the richest in their province, and Handong and her siblings were the only ones able to attend academies. She became fueled by her desire to bring that education to every person in Fódlan instead of only the rich few.

She had grown tremendously from their early days at the academy, not just in skill but in confidence and empathy for others in a way that felt fitting and surprising to Yoohyeon at the same time.

Siyeon wanted change in the form of religious freedom for all, and the rebellion gave her the impossible opportunity to make that dream a reality. 

Her rebellious nature was evident from the moment Yoohyeon met her, eyes sparkling with mischief and ambition. Her desire to dismantle power structures, from within the academy’s walls to the Empire’s rule of the continent, bubbled under the surface during their late-night talks with Yubin about the role religion should play in state affairs. 

Unlike Handong, Siyeon thought the Empire did almost nothing right. The Empire demanded religious conformity, and Siyeon was determined to undermine it with every act of defiance she could while at the academy, often roping Bora into her schemes to disrupt prayer services and religious lectures while the rest of the house tried to control their laughter. 

Minji always managed to hold it together, assuring the priests that she would deal with Siyeon and Bora accordingly once they were back in the dorms. 

(She never did. She laughed the hardest of all of them.)

They had their reasons and their motivations. Yoohyeon supported them, and believed the continent was in desperate need of reform. 

But it was more complicated than that.

How could she be expected to put her heart into something that tore her family apart? 

Her _real_ family, not the ones that instigated this rebellion, that only paid attention to her when they realized she was a prodigy with books and a lance, that called her emotional and clumsy and unprepared to take on responsibility like her brothers, that demanded she come back to train and fight their battles when they needed her “goddess-given talents”.

***

_“It’s just...talent? I guess I was just born with it.”_

_Minji scoffs, craning her neck around to throw an incredulous look Yoohyeon’s way._

_“Don’t discount your efforts like that.”_

_Minji shakes her head and undoes the cloth wrappings protecting her calloused hands from further blistering, revealing the topography of veins underneath. Yoohyeon watches as she wipes her brow with her forearm, chest heaving from their sparring match._

_“You think talent alone would make me sweat this much?”_

_(Yoohyeon gulps and silently prays the goddess can’t hear her thoughts.)_

_Minji turns to face her, crossing her arms and turning serious._

_“It’s not talent, it’s work. I see how hard you work, in the classroom and on the field and in training - we all do.”_

_Yoohyeon nods, kicking at the ground. She knew she worked hard, and even if she didn’t want to say it out loud, pride blooms in her chest at being recognized. Minji always said exactly what she needed to hear._

_“You’re incredible because you show up and put the work in every day. Never let anyone tell you otherwise.”_

***

Yoohyeon felt guilty. She knew if Bora, Gahyeon, Minji, or Yubin were in her position they would be thrilled at the prospect of being able to change things instead of being forced to fight for the Empire. Their entire house wanted radical change in some form, regardless of where the loyalties of their families lied, Yoohyeon included.

They wanted a better world for each other and even more so for those after them. 

Their hearts would be in it. She should be grateful for this opportunity, right? 

But every night for what felt like months after the rebellion broke out, she would remember the siege of the academy and the fire climbing up the chapel walls and her father yelling to get Sapphire from the stables and ride back home immediately and knowing she wouldn’t be able to say goodbye and she would cry. 

_How could anyone want this? Am I just weak?_

_Her friends wouldn’t be weak like she was. Minji wouldn’t be weak like she was._

_Minji would tell her to rise to the occasion right?_

So in the earliest hours of the morning at her family’s estate, when the moonlight seemed to slip through her fingers and the tears long since dried on her face she did just that: made a promise that when the sun rose that morning, she would force away the tears and work until she became the Holy Knight she trained at the academy to be. Strong-willed, strategic, charismatic. Someone who wouldn’t be paralyzed by the emotions of her academy days.

Someone who could be the Holy Knight Minji trained her to be, who could fulfill the potential Minji saw in her. Someone Yoohyeon could be proud of.

(Someone Minji could be proud of.)

***

_“Yoohyeon!”_

_Yoohyeon turns to face Minji, quickly moving the parcel in her hands behind her back as Minji walks over to meet her out on the terrace._

_If she was the picture of handsome in her Holy Knight armor, with ruddy cheeks and hair sticking to her forehead earlier that afternoon, she was the depiction of beautiful now._

_Her white lace dress was intricate but simple, flowing but accentuating. The evening sun seems to sense Minji’s presence as she settles next to Yoohyeon, looking out at the evening bustle of the academy below them, its rays bathing her in pink and gold._

_(Both handsome and beautiful Minji made her equally weak in the knees.)_

_Minji can feel her staring and she knows it, deciding to break the silence before Minji can realize the pinks of her cheeks are a shade too dark to be from the sunset alone._

_“Yubin mentioned earlier, at the ceremony, that you said you had something to give me?”_

_“It seems I’m not the only one,” Minji raises an eyebrow, looking expectantly at Yoohyeon. “You’re hiding something behind your back too.”_

_“I wanted to get you something, as a congratulations for today, but...you’re difficult to find a gift for.”_

_(Also I procrastinated and ran out of time, Yoohyeon thinks, but keeps to herself.)_

_“That is so untrue!”_

_“You tell us all the time to not get you things!” Yoohyeon exclaims, shocked that Minji would deny it after all this time. “Remember when Gahyeon and Siyeon chipped in to buy you that lance after yours broke, and you kept running and hiding from them so they couldn’t give it to you?”_

_“Gahyeon should not be spending that kind of money on gifts. She’s a baby,” Minji states matter-of-factly. “Also it was very unfair of Handong to corner me in the armory until I gave in to accepting it.”_

_“So basically you admit I’m right then. Thank you.” Yoohyeon teases, prompting an eye roll from the other woman._

_Minji hums, resigned but smiling. “I just like simple gifts, is all. I like to buy fancy gifts for others but...I guess I don’t care much about receiving that sort of thing myself.”_

_Yoohyeon’s smile reaches her eyes, remembering how Minji was nearly brought to tears when Bora saved her a slice of cake from the dining hall that afternoon her training ran late. The most mundane acts of kindness made her the happiest._

_“Well, this is definitely a simple gift but…” Yoohyeon trails off, presenting the parcel wrapped in brown paper and twine._

_Minji opens it, revealing the rabbit-shaped pastries inside, still warm and golden-brown from the kitchens. Her lips pout as she looks back up at Yoohyeon, dark eyes twinkling,_

_“Yoohyeon…” Minji almost whispers, picking up one of the rabbits and holding it gently, as if afraid it was going to jump out of her hands if she held it too tightly or spoke too loudly._

_Yoohyeon’s heart soars, committing Minji’s tender expression to memory so she could replay this moment over and over again whenever she longed to see it._

_She laughs and brings her voice down to a whisper as well._

_“They have minced meat inside them, by the way.”_

_Minji exhales slowly, her lips mouthing a silent “yes”._

_“This is_ perfect _, Yooheyon,” Minji giggles, smiling until her eyes squint. “I love you so much, you know me so well.”_

_In an instant, her soaring heart plummets back down to her throat, lodging itself firmly there as if to prevent Yoohyeon from saying something she wouldn’t be able to take back._

_She wants to - so desperately - but she knows she can’t, knows if she vocalized those three words to Minji it would mean something different altogether, knows Minji’s piercing eyes would see through to her core. It would change everything, and Minji would smile sadly and tell her that she was so sorry she didn’t feel the same way._

_Yoohyeon can practically hear Minji trying to comfort her, reassure her that this wouldn’t change anything between them, that no one would have to know and that they could put it in the past._

_(“Oh Yoohyeon, honey, it’s okay...”)_

_(“Of course I love you. Just...in a different way, you know?”)_

_(“Can I hug you?”)_

_She shoves down the urge to confess, turning back to meet Minji’s eyes once she feels confident her voice won’t waver._

_“Make sure to eat them hot, okay?”_

_“Split some with me?”_

_Minji’s stomach rumbles practically on cue, and they both break out into uncontrollable laughter until they’re scolded for being “disrespectful outside a house of worship.”_

_Minji is beautiful (a given, but Yoohyeon somehow feels it more acutely, still) and she feels lighter than air when the house leader grabs her hand to run before they’re scolded by another cranky priest. The anxiety and frustration Yoohyeon was feeling a moment ago at her own cowardice dissipates almost instantly when fingers slip between her own, and she feels more sure than ever that she would follow Minji anywhere._

_She’s used to locking away these feelings, so she decides it’s okay to do it again this time. She knows she would do it forever if it meant not losing these moments with Minji._

-

_Dusk quickly turns to night out by the pond. The stars look especially bright tonight, seeming to wave hello to Yoohyeon while she looks up at them from Bora’s usual fishing spot on the docks. From the corner of her eye she can tell Minji is looking too, both of them lying down after eating way more of the pastries than they ever intended to. Yoohyeon angles herself slightly closer to Minji, hoping that she’s as absorbed in the night sky as she looks when Yoohyeon turns to look at her._

_Even with Yubin’s experienced help, Yoohyeon couldn’t write a love poem to save her life._

_(“Okay um...I think she’s so beautiful. And really patient and kind.”_

_“Okay, that’s a start. Compare her to something. For example....what do her eyes look like to you?”_

_“Um, they look like eyes?”_

_“No, I mean it more like...what does she remind you of when she smiles? When you look into her eyes, what do you feel?”)_

_She felt so much it overwhelmed her, felt everything at once when she thought of Minji that she could never put it into words, or think of the right flower to describe her beauty or the perfect night sky to capture her eyes._

_But looking at Minji now, with the glow of the moon on her face and the twinkle of the stars in her eyes, she thinks she understands what Yubin meant. She couldn’t tell Minji how she felt, of course, but if she could she would tell her the moonlight makes her look like a goddess, far more beautiful than the one they prayed to in the chapel ever could be. The stars reflect off of Minji’s eyes when she turns to face Yoohyeon, and Yoohyeon thinks she could fall into that galaxy and never return._

_“Oh my god,” Minji sits up abruptly, gasping. “I can’t believe I forgot to give you your gift!”_

_Yoohyeon sits up to meet her, blinking away the daze of a moment ago while Minji fishes out a small wooden box from her pocket. She places it in Yoohyeon’s hands, and speaks up in anticipation of the other woman’s protest._

_“I wanted to get you something. I know it’s my inauguration, but I don’t know how much longer I’ll be around at the academy,” Minji starts, eyes looking up from the box to meet Yoohyeon’s. “Of course you’ll still see me around for training and missions, but I’ll probably be back in the Empire more... they actually want to make me an Imperial general, so…”_

_She trails off, prompting Yoohyeon to open the box._

_“I wanted to give you something to commemorate my time as house leader and also as your mentor.”_

_The box contains a pair of silver earrings, thin wire twisted over itself to create the shape of two tiny butterflies, one for each ear. Yoohyeon’s heart beats loudly in her ears, threatening to burst from her chest. Did Minji really buy her such nice jewelry?_

_“Do you like them?” Minji smiles, already knowing the answer from Yoohyeon’s dumbfounded expression._

_Yoohyeon feels tears prick her eyes. Was she crazy? Why did this feel so intimate? What if-_

_Yoohyeon shakes the thought away. That couldn’t be true, right?_

_“Why did you get me such a nice gift?” Yoohyeon almost whispers, trying to control the whirlwind of thoughts in her mind._

_Minji hums, turning her head to look back at the pond._

_“I just wanted you to know that you’ll be just fine without me around,” she says. “It’s intended to be symbolic, in a way.”_

_“Symbolic how?”_

_Minji takes one of the earrings from the box, holding the silver butterfly out in front of them._

_“Butterflies can fly anywhere, go anywhere,” she says. “They’re free, not tied down to anyone or anything. They live free of the expectations we do. They don’t feel the pressure of those around them.”_

_Yoohyeon nods but tilts her head, still clearly confused._

_“I want you to know you can follow your own path,” Minji smiles. “Maybe what you think you want now won’t be what you want forever. Or what you’re working towards may change. And that’s okay if it does.”_

_“It seems like you put a lot of thought into this,” Yoohyeon fixes her eyes on the dock, picking at the wood there. “They’re beautiful, I’ll wear them every day.”_

_Minji beams._

_“I’ve trained with you long enough to see the potential you have,” she states, sounding sure in a way that puts Yoohyeon’s nervous heart at ease. “Only you can be you. We may be going to the same place, but how you decide to fly there is something only you can decide for yourself.”_

-

_That night Yoohyeon tries the earrings on in the mirror, deciding she likes the way she looks in them._

_She didn’t know if Minji bought gifts for the rest of the house, but she allows herself, just once, to believe that Minji picked out something special for her and only her._

***

Somehow Minji knew all those years ago that Yoohyeon wouldn’t end up becoming the Holy Knight she mentored her to be. Even though she hadn’t even begun to touch magic at the academy like Minji had, still mastering how to ride and fight with a lance, she thinks Minji must have seen something within her that Yoohyeon never noticed in the blind pursuit of following in Minji’s footsteps. 

Minji was naturally a master of white magic, her tireless work only supplementing that natural skill. Holy Knights like her were rare, being both excellent fighters and healers. 

After the rebellion broke out, Yoohyeon began to pursue magic in earnest, realizing quickly that, despite her hard work, she was not cut out for white magic. She could never heal soldiers fast enough or warp them far enough. She needed to be the best fighter she could - both to fight for the rebellion and to fulfill that promise she made to herself just a few weeks prior. 

The earrings were a constant reminder of Minji, and gave Yoohyeon the confidence to consider completely changing the plans she had built for years even if the thought left her frozen with fear. 

On nights when everyone at the rebellion training hall left to go to bed, Yoohyeon dragged the tomes of spells she had studied tirelessly for days and began to practice beginner black magic, just to see if she would be able to do something as small as create a few flames or an orb of darkness in her hand. After just a few nights of practice, she was moving quickly through intermediate and then advanced spells, casting lightning down from the sky and inflicting enemies with poison during their missions. 

Yoohyeon became a formidable foe in just a few short months, rising to the rank of general for her family’s faction of the rebellion. 

Minji taught her how to ride a horse and fight with a lance during her time as house leader and Yoohyeon’s mentor. But Yoohyeon taught black magic to herself, and she couldn’t help the swell of pride she felt at that makeshift inauguration when she was presented with the black, jagged armor befitting of the Dark Knight she had become. For what felt like the first time in her life, she had relied completely on herself, and she succeeded. She was proud of herself for fulfilling her promise, even if she had taken a different path than originally planned. 

In the back of her mind she always knew her promise was for Minji too, even if she didn’t want to admit it. A promise to follow her own path and be strong without her house leader, the one she depended on for everything. 

They were now two sides of the same coin, like two distinct sides of the moon, light and dark, that were so close but could never be reconciled, could never be merged together in harmony.

Would Minji be proud of her all these years later?

-

“Hey, Yoohyeon,”

Yoohyeon feels Handong’s hand squeezing her arm, shaking away the thoughts from her mind. How long had she been zoned out?

“I’m sorry.” She winces as embarrassment tinges all the way up to her ears, her voice breaking. “I...can’t stop thinking about…” 

Tears prick the corners of her eyes. _Why am I still so weak?_

“Hey, woah, you have _nothing_ to apologize for, Yooh,” Siyeon says, tilting Yoohyeon’s head up to meet her gaze, eyes always gentler than she expects them to be. “We just wanted to tell you that...you’re really strong, ok?”

“Um, I appreciate it but...you don’t have to say that.”

“No, Yoohyeon. You are strong, _incredibly_ so,” Handong takes Yoohyeon’s hand into her own, interlacing their fingers. “And you know I wouldn’t say it if I didn’t mean it. Just, breathe, ok?”

The tension dissipates and Yoohyeon’s shoulders relax, letting out the breath she didn’t realize she was holding. The three of them are quiet for a moment, watching the candlelight flicker and allowing the crickets chirping outside the tent to fill the silence. 

“I know I’m not...the most outwardly emotional person - Handong _definitely_ isn’t - _ow_!”

Yoohyeon manages a laugh through her sniffling when Siyeon tries and fails to defend herself from Handong’s incoming punch to the arm.

“But, I just want you to know that this isn’t easy for us either. And I’m not going to make you talk about everything that’s going on in that head of yours but,” 

Siyeon takes her other hand, the callouses from years of wyvern riding matching Yoohyeon’s own, and squeezes it firmly. Her eyes sparkle, their usual mischief tempered with a hint of sadness.

“I just want you to know you don’t have to carry this pain alone, okay? We’re in this together.”

Siyeon’s words bring her back down to Earth, and she remembers.

***

_Yoohyeon was used to seeing blood by now. Lots of it._

_(Another one down.)_

_She pulls her lance out of another Imperial militia soldier, squeezing her eyes shut for a moment of reprieve from the gruesome sight._

_Would she ever get used to seeing the look on a face that realized these were their last moments?_

_An arrow bounces off of her armor with a clang, and Sapphire is already rearing back, galloping towards the archer without Yoohyeon needing to utter a command or guide her with the reins._

_The archer nocks an arrow, preparing to shoot again at Yoohyeon as she rushes toward him, gripping the reins in one hand and reaching into the saddlebag with the other to retrieve her throwing spear._

_The spear pins his body to the wooden barrier he crept out from to unsuccessfully try to for better aim._

_(Another one down.)_

_The militia soldiers were weaker than the typical Empire legions, but their numbers were fierce - an endless sea of tarnished silver and rusted iron clashing with rebellion forces all the way to the horizon._

_And between the way Yoohyeon fought with her lance and black magic and commanded attention with silver hair in tight braids and jagged armor the color of obsidian, it was becoming clear to the militia soldiers that she was their biggest obstacle to victory on the field._

_More soldiers begin to charge as if coming to that realization at the same time - five, six at once now instead of one at a time._

_Yoohyeon summons fire to wipe out the soldiers approaching on all sides, the burning smell of flesh tainting the air. Another wave surrounds her._

_More fire incinerates the field._

_(Another one down. Another one down. Another one down.)_

_The soldiers aren’t stopping, even if their commander knows they’re sending them to meet almost-certain demise. Yoohyeon has studied enough battle tactics to know she’s being slowly worn down, the commander relentlessly ordering troops to keep surrounding the Dark Knight until exhaustion inevitably kicks in._

_Seconds begin to feel like hours and Yoohyeon can feel the toll the spells are taking on her body, hears the ringing in her ears and feels the sharp, burning pain crawling up her arms and numbing her fingers each time fire crashes down onto the field._

_The flames surround her and she can’t see past them, has no idea where the rest of her army is or how many militia soldiers are left or if they’re losing._

_A deafening screech pierces the air, and Yoohyeon tilts her head quickly enough to see a wyvern streak past, stomach lurching at the thought of having to take on a wyvern rider with exhaustion creeping further through her muscles._

_The wyvern dives in the distance as Yoohyeon summons another fire spell, her lips bloody from trying to contain screams of pain. She’s reaching her limit, and suddenly the wyvern is flying back in her direction._

_The ringing in her ears subsides, and her senses are met with the sounds of steel against iron. The hoards of soldiers have slowed significantly, seemingly caught up in the struggle occurring beyond the embers blocking Yoohyeon’s vision._

_Wait. Since when did the militia have wyverns?_

_The fire begins to die down and Yoohyeon urges Sapphire forward, gripping the lance as hard as she can through numb hands._

_The sight that unfolds behind the flames is one Yoohyeon never predicted._

_Siyeon, diving on her wyvern and brandishing an axe. Handong, behind her, gracefully leaping off the wyvern as it approaches the ground, unsheathing her blade to cut down three soldiers in one fell swoop._

_(What a show-off.)_

_Yoohyeon practically beams despite her exhaustion._

_She hasn’t seen them for almost a year._

_She joins the fray, helping to take out the remaining soldiers still approaching them. Siyeon and Handong took out the militia commander, that much she can tell, and Yoohyeon feels relief begin to spread through her body at the thought of this battle coming to an end._

_“What are you doing here?” Yoohyeon shouts amid the sounds of clanging metal._

_“Saving your cute ass!” Siyeon shouts back. “We’re part of the rebellion too, you know!”_

_“Not this faction!”_

_“We knew this battle would be a bloody one,” Handong disarms the soldier in front of her, kicking him to the ground. “Plus our Yoohyeon is all grown up, a fucking general, we had to see that.”_

_Yoohyeon realizes she missed them so much, and can’t bear the thought of parting again now that she has them here, fighting alongside her. So even if the setting is inappropriate, the metallic smell of blood hanging in the air combined with the ambiance of bodies littering the field, Yoohyeon can’t help but ask:_

_“Will you stay?”_

_Handong laughs. (Even her laugh is stylish.)_

_“You think you could get rid of us that easily?”_

_“Fuck yeah we’re staying!” Siyeon yells, hopping off her wyvern to finish the remaining soldiers on foot._

_They’re together on the field, fighting side-by-side as they once had for years, and it’s the first time since she was severed from their house at the academy that Yoohyeon feels like she’s among family again. Her heart soars in a way she never expected it to be able to do anymore._

_“We’re in this together, remember?”_

***

Handong hums in agreement. 

“We always will be.”

Yoohyeon squeezes Siyeon’s hand tighter and interlaces her fingers with Handong’s further. She needs them, that isn’t news to her.

But when they squeeze back with equal firmness, Yoohyeon realizes that maybe they need her just as much. They ground each other. They comfort each other when the realities of war become too painful to bear alone. The feeling runs through their fingers, settling warm in Yoohyeon’s bones. 

-

Siyeon and Handong retire to their quarters for the night, urging Yoohyeon to not stay up too late like she always does. They had a big day tomorrow, and Yoohyeon needed to at least attempt to get some rest even if she had a nagging feeling that it would evade her tonight. 

Usually Yoohyeon could sleep anywhere (the back of Yubin’s horse at the academy), and through anything (Gahyeon and Bora were her neighbors, after all), but it evades her tonight despite her exhaustion.

Her mind races.

What became of her friends after the rebellion broke out?

Did Bora end up becoming a War Master like she wanted to years ago? Did Gahyeon pursue her talent for black magic? Did Yubin decide to fight with a lance like Yoohyeon? Or had the bow and arrow become her weapon of choice?

And Minji. A prominent Imperial general. 

What was it like to serve under her command? How was she holding up right now, the night before the battle? Was she motivating their friends for tomorrow the way she used to at the academy, with her smiles and determination and inspiring words? 

Was she wiping Gahyeon’s tears? Or sitting with Bora and talking through their feelings late into the night?

Was she rubbing Yubin’s back to sleep while she cried, promising her that she would never tell a soul?

As Yoohyeon drifts into fitful sleep, her eyes project every possible way Minji’s eyes would meet her own for the first time on the battlefield tomorrow.

Would her eyes be soft, comforting despite the reality of what they were about to do? 

Or would her gaze pierce through her soul, eyes burning like wildfire, exposing all of Yoohyeon’s weaknesses in an instant?

-

Yoohyeon wakes up with a start on hard ground, cheek scratching against what feels like dirt.  
  
It is unfortunately dirt, she confirms when she props herself up on her knees, wiping her face and wondering why she wasn’t in her section of the tent when she definitely remembered falling asleep there.

Her head throbs. What happened? Where is she? 

Also, why did this feel so familiar? 

She looks down and sees the worn cloth wrappings on her hands, old academy-issued training tights on her legs. Didn’t she put on her nightwear before falling asleep?

Wait. 

Academy?

Looking up from her hands, Yoohyeon notices dozens of wooden axes, swords, and lances hanging on the wall. There were too many weapons for it to be the makeshift training tent the rebellion set up when traveling between strongholds. Her suspicions are confirmed when she stands up and looks behind her, seeing the flags of the academy houses hanging together in a line.

She’s confused, so confused. She spent enough time in the academy training hall years ago to recognize this is where she ended up somehow. But, for some reason it looks different from her memory, even just slightly. The benches trainees rested on post-sparring are on opposite sides from where they’re supposed to be, the swords are hung below the lances, and the arena is much, much smaller than it used to be, probably only big enough to fit a sparring pair instead of dozens of them. 

It’s unsettling in a way Yoohyeon can’t put her finger on, the anxiety starting to bloom in her chest only increasing when she realizes she can’t find the door anywhere.

Her legs feel like lead, refusing to let her move and try to find a way out of this almost-training hall. A blow to the ribcage sends her hurtling forward, scraping her elbows on the hard ground.

“What the hell…”

Pain spreads where Yoohyeon took the hit. She swears she was alone a second ago. How did someone even manage to find a way in?

“Get up,” a familiar voice orders, and she feels a shiver run down her spine.

Yoohyeon rises to her feet despite the uncontrollable shaking in her legs. That voice...It had to be her, right?

She knows she should turn around, even with the anxiety riddling her body and filling her lungs. She was used to the Minji in her memories, the one she traveled back in time to visit often. Kind. Sweet. Familiar.

But this isn’t a memory, and she’s suddenly terrified to turn around and see who she thinks is the woman she hasn’t seen in years. The gaze of the presence behind her bores holes into her back, and she turns around to meet it.

It’s Minji, in the flesh.

Her eyes pierce through Yoohyeon, fierce and commandeering. Her hair is colored an unfamiliar, striking shade of violet that makes Yoohyeon’s knees buckle. She’s somehow more beautiful than all the memories, even if Yoohyeon has never seen her look so...menacing. There’s something about it that terrifies and sets her aflame all at once.

Minji is stern when she grabs her wrist, hard, pulling her back up to her feet before she keels over again. Two wooden lances materialize in the other woman’s hands, and she throws one for Yoohyeon to catch. 

Before she can even process what she’s experiencing, Minji is charging towards her, swinging the weapon. Yoohyeon manages to block another hit to the ribcage, pushing the other woman back.

But Minji is fast, and the lead that was creeping through Yoohyeon’s legs earlier starts to move to her arms, rendering her unable to block Minji’s next strikes. The hit to the shoulder hurts like hell, forcing her to stumble back.

It doesn’t feel like a normal sparring match, mostly because Minji is silent, a far cry from the usual smiling, determined expression that Yoohyeon remembers from their one-on-one training sessions at the academy. Yoohyeon is used to her patience and encouragement, used to the bad jokes Minji would crack in between helping perfect her technique. 

But this Minji is angry, eyes blazing, looking at her like she wants to kill. Like Yoohyeon is the enemy.

Fear starts to kick in and the blood rushes through Yoohyeon’s veins again, allowing her to fight back against the person she never wanted to make an enemy of. For the first time in her life, they're evenly matched. Neither of them are able to land a hit, and wooden lances clash loudly with each other, threatening to splinter into a million sharp fragments. 

Yoohyeon breaks through, but just as she feels herself landing a blow to the arm, Minji is gone, the momentum forcing her to stumble onto the floor again. 

Her head throbs again, behind the eyes, the ringing loud in her ears.

Then, it stops, a clear voice cutting through the noise.

“Yoohyeon?”

It’s Minji, again, but this time the commandeering voice is gone, as if this Minji and the one she was just sparring with were two completely different people. She feels a palm on her back, gentle and reassuring. 

“Oh, Yoohyeon,” Minji practically coos. “You sweet thing, you’re hurt.”

It’s too stark of a difference to be real, and Yoohyeon shouldn’t trust it after what just transpired. But Minji’s voice is milk and honey, and Yoohyeon’s fear and adrenaline melt away despite herself. She turns around to meet Minji’s eyes again, finding them softer and gentler than ever. It feels like whiplash, but Yoohyeon couldn’t care less when the other woman pulls her to her feet.

“Let me heal you up, okay?” 

Her voice is practically dripping with affection, and Yoohyeon’s body freezes when Minji’s strong hands are on her arms, tending to the scrapes on her elbows. They dissolve completely with a healing spell, strength coursing through her body again.

“Thank you…” Yoohyeon stutters out, impressed that she could even pull it together enough to say two words to Minji when she’s this close.

Her heart leaps into her throat when Minji laughs softly and holds her hand, gently undoing the cloth wrappings. 

“Look how strong you’ve become,” Minji whispers despite them being the only ones in the training hall. She massages the tired muscles in Yoohyeon’s hands, and Yoohyeon feels a blush creep up her neck. 

Minji usually never noticed when Yoohyeon blushed around her, either too oblivious to notice it like everyone else did or too kind to point it out and embarrass Yoohyeon. But now, she feels hyper aware of Minji’s eyes following the blush as it rises, settling in her cheeks and the tips of her ears. 

Minji’s hand reaches out to cup her cheek, with so much tenderness that Yoohyeon swears she couldn’t possibly be reading too much into things this time. It makes her head spin. She pushes her cheek into Minji’s hand, nearly falling apart at the touch.

“My handsome knight,” Minji says, teasing softly.

She leans in closer, tucking a loose strand of hair behind Yoohyeon’s ear. It’s everything she’s dreamed of, and she feels her knees threaten to give out when Minji holds her chin, forcing their eyes to meet. 

Minji’s eyes flit down to Yoohyeon’s lips, blinking slowly. Yoohyeon can barely hear what the other woman says next as her heart hammers in her ears. Minji leans in close, breath hot against Yoohyeon’s lips.

“Don’t you know how much I want you?”

The last of Yoohyeon’s resolve crumbles and she leans in to meet the other woman’s lips.

But once again, Minji is gone, leaving Yoohyeon flustered and more confused than ever. She’s starting to realize whatever she’s experiencing isn’t real, couldn’t be real even if it’s everything she ever wanted. But when Minji’s voice chimes behind her again, she decides she doesn’t care if all of this is an illusion, and turns around to meet her. 

Minji is sitting on the sparring bench, now clad in her training gear like Yoohyeon is. Her cheeks are pink and her hair is pulled back into a ponytail, wisps of hair framing her face. Her expression exudes confidence, the smirk painting her face sending a shiver up Yoohyeon’s spine. 

Yoohyeon feels frozen in place when Minji speaks again, voice dripping with something that makes her face flush with warmth again, even if she can’t recognize what it is.

“Why are you so far away?” Minji teases, pouting slightly. “Didn’t you hear what I said?”

Her eyes look darker than normal, lids hanging low in a way that makes Yoohyeon gulp. Like the way they sometimes look in the deepest recesses of Yoohyeon’s dreams that she locks away in a box when she wakes up, never to be opened again.

“That,” Yoohyeon starts, struggling to control the waver in her voice. “That you want me?”

Minji nods, blinking slowly. 

“Come on baby, don’t you want to have fun with me?”

Yoohyeon nods quickly, and maybe she looks too desperate but Minji doesn’t seem to care, the smirk only growing on her face. Minji beckons her over with two fingers and she feels her feet move towards the bench, unable to control them.

Minji’s hands move from the bench and fingers press themselves into the grooves of Yoohyeon’s hips when the space between them closes. The contact burns fiercely and Minji only grips harder, threatening to bruise the skin under the clothes. 

“You’re still too far away,” Minji’s voice is low and raspy as she pulls Yoohyeon down onto her, adjusting their position until Yoohyeon is in her lap, thighs bracketing her hips. 

Yoohyeon knows the expression on her face must be one of shock, because Minji giggles in a way that feels familiar. 

“Relax, baby,” she smiles, hands moving up to grip Yoohyeon’s waist. If that was meant to comfort her it isn’t working, the room spinning even more than it had before. Yoohyeon sees black spots form in the corner of her vision, and does her best to blink them away when Minji leans in closer again. 

“I like seeing you like this,” she husks against Yoohyeon’s ear. “But I don’t want to make you wait any longer.” 

“Please don’t,” Yoohyeon whispers back without thinking, moving her hands to grip Minji’s shoulders. She squeezes them tightly for purchase, feeling the hard muscle underneath.

One of the hands on her waist moves up to hold the back of her neck, and when Minji leans in Yoohyeon prays she won’t disappear again, hopes that even if none of this is real that they can pretend for a few moments longer. 

She doesn’t expect the press of plush lips hot against her neck, and gasps at the contact. Minji’s lips are soft and her kisses urgent when Yoohyeon cants forward and wraps her arms around the other woman’s neck. The black spots enter her vision again, threatening to pull her out of this dream unwillingly. 

Minji’s kisses leave a burning trail up the column of her neck, somehow gentle and firm at the same time. She reaches the pulse point just under Yoohyeon’s jaw and pulls the skin between her teeth, biting down. Yoohyeon whines at the mix of pain and pleasure and Minji hums against her neck in response, soothing the bite with her tongue. She leans back looking satisfied, and Yoohyeon hopes it’s because she left a dark mark on the skin for everyone to see.

Their foreheads press together and Yoohyeon leans in again, vision fading to black as she feels their lips brush against each other for the first time.

-

The first thing Yoohyeon does upon waking up is press her fingers just below her jaw, hoping to feel the dull pain from the mark Minji’s lips and teeth left in her dream. 

She doesn’t.

-

It’s still dark outside when Yoohyeon slips out of the tent in the morning and heads to the stables, carrying armor and more hay to feed Sapphire before the rebellion heads out to battle. Sapphire nuzzles into her hand graciously when Yoohyeon refills her trough.

The morning is cool despite the season, and the breeze blows through Yoohyeon’s silver locks still waiting to be braided for the day. It’s silent aside from Sapphire and the soft chirps from birds waking up as dawn breaks. Usually Yoohyeon is never up early enough to see the sunrise, but it’s peaceful, and she allows herself to relax and enjoy it, still too tired to allow the usual whirlwind in her mind to form conscious thoughts.

Once Sapphire is finished eating, Yoohyeon fastens the multiple dark plates of armor onto her, making sure they’re snug but not too tight before heading back inside to get ready. 

Handong is sitting at the war table, eating a light breakfast and drinking tea when Yoohyeon walks back into the tent. She’s already dressed in her Swordmaster robes, hair pulled immaculately into a tight bun at the base of her neck. Handong always looks like she’s about to head to a ball rather than a battle on mornings like this, and Yoohyeon has learned that’s just how she likes it.

She wants to be frustrated that Handong always manages to look so beautiful and elegant even at this hour, but of course, she can’t, because it’s Handong.

“I made some breakfast,” Handong gestures to the seat next to her, where another plate and steaming cup of tea are waiting. “I don’t care if you don’t have an appetite, I’m insisting, so don’t start.”

Yoohyeon smiles at Handong, someone who’s always been able to know exactly what she’s thinking, and sits down without protesting. She takes a hunk of bread and sausage and eats, already starting to feel better from last night’s lack of sleep after a few bites.

Siyeon groans, entering the room and rubbing her eyes with the backs of her hands. 

“Good morning to you too, Siyeon.” 

“Ugh. Why do you always look so good in the morning? It isn’t fair.”  
  
“I’m just naturally beautiful.”

“Yeah, yeah. We know.” Siyeon relents, sitting down and propping her head on her hands before she pouts at Handong, putting on the baby voice they both hate. “Do I get to have some?” 

Handong sips her tea without looking up, intentionally avoiding Siyeon.

“It’s on the hearth.” 

“Love you!” Siyeon smiles and hugs Handong tightly.

Handong scowls, even though they all know she loves it, and Yoohyeon hugs her from the other side, resting her head on Handong’s shoulder. 

“Yeah, we love you Dongie,” Yoohyeon says into Handong’s neck, squeezing tight with her arms. 

There’s a beat, and then Handong relaxes into their touch.

“I love you both, too.”

-

“Ready to go?” Siyeon calls from behind the tarp that separates her room from Yoohyeon’s. “Er, you know what I mean. Ready as you can be?”

“Just a sec, I’ll meet everyone outside.” 

She takes a deep breath and makes eye contact with herself in the mirror, trying to calm the anxiety threatening to overflow in her lungs. She likes the way the Dark Knight armor makes her look. Intimidating. Imposing. Like she does this all the time and it doesn’t affect her.

As surreal as it feels today, Yoohyeon opens the small wooden box by the mirror, the one Minji gave to her three years ago out by the docks. She wears the butterfly earrings every day, has worn them since the day Minji placed the box in her hands, eyes beaming. Today is no exception. She finishes putting them on, takes one final look at herself, and heads outside to meet Siyeon, Handong, and the rest of the army.

-

The ride to the battlefield feels like it usually does, with Handong, Siyeon, and Yoohyeon chatting to ease the tension and nervousness buzzing through the army. The rebellion forces haven’t lost yet, and even after some close calls they feel confident in their skills, technique, and organization. If this was like any other battle, even Yoohyeon doesn’t think she would be nervous. But, the wild card of her former classmates means it isn’t like any battle they’ve ever had before.

_The fact that I have to kill my old friends means it isn’t like any battle I’ve ever had before._

They finally arrive at the field, and Yoohyeon feels her stomach plummet when they realize the Empire forces are already there, waiting for them. She needed time to mentally prepare, time to process what they were about to do, but she knows she won’t be able to now.  
  
Yoohyeon scans the forces for a familiar face, but doesn’t see one. There are rows of Empire cavalry and swordsmen as far as she can see, but no one she recognizes. 

Then the rows part, and _she_ rides forward.

It’s Minji, with that shock of violet hair spilling over her shoulders that Yoohyeon remembers from her dream. The Holy Knight armor she received at her inauguration three years ago seems to suit her even more now, and Yoohyeon can’t help but swoon even a little at how beautiful and powerful Minji looks, even if she knows this is certainly not the time or place for that. 

Even all the way across the field, the sight of Minji makes her head spin, makes her feel like she might faint if she doesn’t hold on to Sapphire with everything she has.

Siyeon and Handong are putting on brave faces, but Yoohyeon can tell reality is settling in for them too. 

When Yubin, Bora, and Gahyeon move to flank either side of Minji, she sees their resolve crumble and feels her own heart tear to shreds. 

How could they be expected to do this? How could this be fair?

Yoohyeon wants to squeeze her eyes shut until she disappears, until she wakes up from this nightmare that shouldn’t be happening, even if she’s known for years it would one day come to this.

They’re used to hearing the same speeches from Empire forces, about how they’re traitors, how they’re defying the will of the goddess, how they’ll be struck down for their crimes. Yoohyeon expects Minji to say the same thing, because that’s what she’s supposed to do, but she doesn’t. 

Yoohyeon thinks she sees conflict cross Minji’s face for a moment, but she’s too far away to know for sure. 

Siyeon squeezes Yoohyeon’s shoulder, and the two turn to look at each other.

“You can do this, okay?”

She nods, shaky, but grounded by Siyeon’s gaze.

“It’s just like anything else, that’s how we have to think of it, right?” Siyeon’s voice trembles enough for Yoohyeon to hear it. “Hopefully we don’t have to kill too many people to settle the battle.” 

“I hope we don’t have to kill all of our friends” is unsaid, but loud in the silence between them. 

They turn back to the opposing army, and Minji raises her lance. It’s silent. Then she points it towards them, signaling the Empire forces to charge forward and begin the battle. 

Yoohyeon feels panic and adrenaline spike in her chest, but Sapphire is moving before she can stop her, before Yoohyeon can hightail it out of there instead of facing what’s right in front of her. 

Minji and their friends from the academy have disappeared from the front lines, so after taking a few soldiers down, Yoohyeon manages to push them out of her thoughts for the moment and get into a rhythm. 

Siyeon and Handong help tear through the ranks beside her before they break off to cover opposite flanks.

“We’ll see you soon!” Handong shouts over the noise when her and Siyeon pull away. “Don’t be reckless!” 

“I can take care of myself!” Yoohyeon shouts back, casting down a lightning spell on a few heavy armor units that begin to surround Sapphire. 

The sound of swords clashing and soldiers yelling is deafening, and through ringing ears Yoohyeon almost misses the sound of trumpets parting the crowd after a few minutes of fighting. She looks in the direction of the noise and is met with the sight of Yubin on her horse, bow and arrow in one hand and a yellow flag held high in the other.

Yellow flag? Wait, that means...

Halt fighting for a conversation between generals?

Although Yoohyeon can see the clashing continue in her peripheral vision, the sight of the flag halts the activity of the soldiers in their immediate vicinity.

“General Yoohyeon,” Yubin says to break the silence, their eyes connecting. Yoohyeon sees a softness there, even behind the mask of determination and anger Yubin wears during these moments. “A word, please.”

Yoohyeon rides up alongside the other woman, and the two turn to face each other. 

Yubin is formal, too formal with her, and Yoohyeon so badly wishes she wasn’t. She wishes they were back in their shared room at the academy talking about philosophy and books and what they were going to eat for breakfast the next day. 

“I carry a message from General Kim Minji,” she starts, and Yoohyeon’s stomach flips. Minji had a message for her? 

“Do you choose to receive the message?”

“I do.”

Yubin takes a deep, shaky breath before continuing. The surrounding army watches them with bated breath.

“General Minji has decided she would like to duel you,” Yubin begins, meeting Yoohyeon’s eyes this time. “The duel will be in the form of a joust, should you accept.”

Yoohyeon’s eyes widen in shock, and she pushes all the memories down that threaten to rise to the surface.

“The battle here will resume once you two have assumed your positions outside of the battlefield,” Yubin continues, and Yoohyeon feels her heart leap into her throat at the thought of fighting just the two of them, with no one to see. 

Maybe it would be like the past? She knows it’s wishful thinking, but she entertains the thought for a moment.

In reality, this time only one of them would make it out alive, while the other would remain on the field long after the battle ended, a feast for the worms and crows. 

Siyeon and Handong are nowhere in sight. They usually talk her out of reckless decisions, but now Yoohyeon is forced to make her own this time.

One of the Empire’s premier generals versus her most formidable former classmate and student. Was she signing her life away if she accepted?

“Do you accept?”

Maybe she’ll get to see Minji smile at her one last time?

“I accept.” Yoohyeon says, feeling the blood drain from her face. She hears the murmuring of the news spread through the ranks of soldiers.

Yubin nods, resolutely. Was that a glint of sadness in her eyes? 

“I’ll lead you to the arena.” 

-

They reach the makeshift arena. There’s no wooden barrier, no flags or stands or cheering crowds like the jousts Yoohyeon had come to know. It’s quiet and solemn in a way that breaks her heart further. Yubin rides over to Minji on the other side of the field to exchange a few words once Yoohyeon settles in. 

Yoohyeon allows herself to take all of Minji in, now that they aren’t so far away. 

Minji is stunning, still the most beautiful woman Yoohyeon has ever laid eyes on. Her eyes are kind but fierce as she talks to Yubin, and Yoohyeon knows she’s probably saying something comforting when Yubin’s stiff shoulders relax, and Minji gives her a tight smile.

Yoohyeon’s feelings surge to the surface, and she feels them start to spill over. How could anyone have ever expected her to get over someone like Minji?

Yubin rides back to the edge of the battlefield near Yoohyeon. She almost misses Bora, clad in her fitted War Master armor, who Yubin directs to resume the fighting in Minji’s absence. The two lock eyes for a moment, and Bora smiles and waves at her, like this was just any other day back at the academy. She waves back before Bora heads into the fray. 

“Hey, um…” Yubin rides back up beside Yoohyeon. She stares at the ground before taking Yoohyeon’s hand, tears welling up in her eyes. 

“Yubin…” Yoohyeon squeezes the other woman’s hand tightly.

It felt strange to be comforting Yubin instead of the other way around, but Yoohyeon does it happily. She feels the urge to hold her as she sees a tear fall from her eyelashes, but then Yubin is pulling away.

“I know I never said it a lot back then, but…you mean so much to me,” Yubin speaks gently, looking back up at the taller woman. Yoohyeon feels the tears threaten to spill from her eyes. “It’s so good to see you again…I hope you know none of us want this…”

Then Yubin turns and pulls the bow and arrow off of her back, following Bora into battle.

Then it’s...just the two of them. Her and Minji, face to face on opposite sides of the battlefield. 

“It suits you, the Dark Knight class.” Minji finally says, and Yoohyeon can’t believe she’s real, that this is really Minji across from her in the flesh. “You look well, Yoohyeon.”

Yoohyeon steels herself. Minji is right in front of her, but there’s nothing she can even begin to say to her, not in this situation. It’s not the right time, and now it probably never will be.

“So do you, Minji. I…” Yoohyeon trails off, heart pounding in her chest. “I missed you a lot.”

Through the blood and dirt on her face, Minji smiles, all white teeth and squinted eyes, a ray of light on the opposing end of the arena.

“I’m so sorry it has to be this way, Yoohyeon.”

She moves the reins to her right hand, tosses her violet locks, and throws her lance into the air, catching it at the hilt.

***

_“Let’s duel, Yoohyeon!” Minji giggles, her voice echoing through the training hall._

_She steps back into position, throwing the wooden lance into the air and catching it at the hilt, spinning it once before pointing it at Yoohyeon._

_“Show-off.”_

_Minji winks._

_“It’s time to learn a thing or two from your teacher.”_

***

Yoohyeon thinks she sees a tear glisten on Minji’s cheek. She had to be imagining it.

_I’m not the same girl who latched on to you all those years ago. I can be strong without you, Minji. I’m going to prove to you that I don’t need you._

Her own tears begin to fall, unbidden. 

_So why do I still want your approval? Why do I still want you to be proud of me?_

_Why do I still love you?_

Minji points her lance at Yoohyeon, and reality begins to crash down. She doesn’t want to die. She doesn’t want to lose to Minji, and she doesn’t want to emerge victorious either.

“Show me what you’ve learned.”

The two knights charge forward, lances drawn.

They ride past each other. Once, then twice, then three times, each dodging the other’s thrusts. 

Minji was alway particularly good at sussing out enemy weaknesses and openings. It was something she tried to teach Yoohyeon but never fully succeeded in. It was purely instinct, and that’s why Yoohyeon is so confused when she notices that Minji isn’t trying to find any openings. Her lance seems to be avoiding Yoohyeon altogether.

_Is she trying not to hit me?_

That’s impossible. 

Minji didn’t have the weaknesses Yoohyeon did. She was strong-willed, ready to take on even the most difficult tasks without letting her emotions get in the way. She wasn’t crippled by the memories of years past. 

That’s why when Minji raises her lance higher as she charges forward again, Yoohyeon anticipates she’s finally going to try to land a blow this time.

Minji could kill her, should kill her because that’s what they’re here to do. After all this time Yoohyeon still can’t bring herself to imagine doing the same, so when they ride past each other Yoohyeon strikes with the hilt of her lance, expecting to hopefully be able to block the pointed end of Minji’s thrust.

But Minji throws the lance to the ground just before they meet, and before Yoohyeon can stop herself the hilt of her lance is colliding forcefully with the breastplate of Minji’s armor. 

Instantly, dread pumps through her veins.

It was such an easy hit to block. Why did Minji leave herself so wide open? Why did Minji throw away her weapon?

Time seems to slow down when Minji is knocked off her horse, armor clanging as she collides with the ground a few feet away from Yoohyeon. 

Yoohyeon leaps off of Sapphire before she can even process what’s happening and stumbles towards Minji’s body. She kneels down beside her, letting out the breath she was holding when she feels the other woman’s rapid pulse flutter beneath her fingers.

“What are you doing?” Minji says through gritted teeth. Yoohyeon feels her dark eyes boring into her soul.

“What? What are you talking about-”

“Land the killing blow. What are you doing?” Minji snaps at her. “I left myself wide open and you knocked me off.” 

Yoohyeon’s head spins. 

Why the hell isn’t she fighting back? Why is she telling Yoohyeon to kill her?

Tears start to pour from Minji’s eyes, her face contorted in frustration.

“Get up! You know better than that!”

Yoohyeon shakes her head, holding onto Minji's arm. 

“Why won’t you do it?” Minji's voice is weak this time, shaking as the sobs rack her body. “Claim your victory.”

The memories flood back at those words.

Suddenly Yoohyeon is back in the jousting arena at the academy. The master of ceremonies is saying those exact words to the victorious knight as he climbs down from his horse. Minji’s smile is blinding. The sun paints her in gold and Yoohyeon realizes she’s in love with the woman beside her for the first time.

_“Sometimes I can’t decide if I would rather be victorious in the arena or receive a rose from the person I love.”_

_“What would you do?”_

Yoohyeon hears yelling in the distance, the sound moving closer every second. 

_I love her, I love her, I love her. How could I ever kill her?_

Yoohyeon feels the tears reach her chin. The anger on Minji’s face is tempered with concern when Yoohyeon looks her in the eyes. 

“All I ever wanted to do was fight for you,” she starts, because she has nothing else to lose at this point. 

Empire forces will be closing in on them any second now, and Yoohyeon doesn’t care that it’s unrequited anymore. She has to tell Minji how she feels before she doesn’t get the chance to.

“All I’ve ever wanted to do is give you my rose. You still don’t know after all this time?”

Yoohyeon looks back up, seeing realization dawn on Minji’s face through her tears.

“I love you, Minji. I can’t do it. I’m sorry.”

Minji is silent, and then suddenly a wyvern is tearing through Yoohyeon’s line of sight. 

She’s pulled off of Minji before she can blink, arms tightly secured around her waist. They’re going to kill her now, but that’s okay. All that matters is that she said it. 

She finally _fucking_ said it.  
  
“Stop!” the voice from behind her yells, holding her back. 

It’s Siyeon.

“Don’t do something you’ll regret, please,” she begs. “We can negotiate or figure something else out, I don’t care, I won’t let either of you die.”

Bora hops off the back of Yubin’s horse, stumbling to check if Minji is alive. She breathes out a sigh of relief, squeezing her hand tightly.

“We’re losing too many men Minji,” Bora says, exhausted. “We have to fall back, it isn’t worth it.”

Gahyeon pulls Minji up to her feet when she says she’s able to stand. Minji, Gahyeon, Yubin, and Bora speak for a minute. 

“We’re going to call back our army and regroup. That is, if you’ll let us do so.” Minji decides, looking at Yoohyeon.

Yoohyeon breathes out a sigh of relief.

“Of course.”

Minji nods and climbs back up on her horse, pulling Gahyeon up to sit behind her. 

“We’ll make a decision on our next actions by nightfall.”

Then Minji is turning away, riding back to the battlefield with their friends to call off the Empire’s forces.

-

“General.” one of the rebellion soldiers bows to Yoohyeon upon entering the tent. “General Minji and her confidants are outside.”

“Thank you,” Yoohyeon says, feeling a mix of nervousness and excitement bloom in her chest.

“We’ll be at the ready if anything goes awry.”

Yoohyeon, Siyeon, and Handong exit the tent, silently, making a point to leave their weapons behind. They hope the worst is far, far behind them. 

-

“Wait. Can you repeat that again?” Siyeon looks incredulous when she speaks.

Minji laughs, genuinely this time, and Yoohyeon realizes how much she missed that sound. Her laugh always managed to put them all at ease, and the same is true now.

“We’re conceding,” Minji starts, and for someone admitting defeat, she looks positively thrilled. 

“What Minji’s trying to say is: we’re over it,” Bora says in the no-nonsense way she does while Yubin snickers behind her. “We’re abdicating the Empire - we want to join the rebellion, if you’ll have us.”

Yoohyeon gasps. This was certainly not what she was expecting to hear, and she struggles to process it. A smile breaks out on her face despite herself, reaching her eyes.

“You really want to join us?”

“Wouldn’t that make you all traitors?” Handong raises an eyebrow, looking at Minji. 

Siyeon reveled in being a traitor, in undermining all the power structures in the continent to one day build them anew. Did Minji feel the same?

“At this point it doesn’t really matter. When the Empire falls, there won’t be titles anymore anyway,” Minji hums, and they all nod in understanding. “We were supposed to win or die here, we have nothing to lose anymore.”

“Of course we want you to join us, that’s the only thing we’ve ever wanted,” Yoohyeon says, and she knows everyone can tell how happy she is, how relieved she sounds. She extends her hand.

“When the Empire falls, huh?”

Minji takes it, squeezing tightly. 

“With the seven of us? There’s not a doubt in my mind.”

-

Maybe it’s premature, but they couldn’t care less. They’ll think about the rest of the war tomorrow. 

The war table is cleared off, the old map folded and iron cavalry units packed away in wooden boxes. All seven of them are seated there, laughing and eating and drinking, reveling in the feeling of finally being together again. It’s a far cry from the solemn breakfast Yoohyeon had in the same place this morning, and her heart is so full she feels like it’s going to burst through her chest.

It’s loud, and Yoohyeon feels like she’s taking damage when Bora and Gahyeon scream, but she missed it so much, so she doesn’t care.

“Did I look scary out there?” Siyeon teases, putting her arm around Gahyeon, prompting a groan from the other woman. 

When everyone laughs and begins talking again, Yoohyeon notices Gahyeon whisper in Siyeon’s ear out of the corner of her eye. Siyeon’s faux-haughty expression shifts in an instant, and suddenly she’s blushing, hiding her face in the shorter woman’s neck. Yoohyeon always had a feeling something was going on between them.

Minji’s eyes meet her own from across the room when Yoohyeon looks up. She tilts her head towards the door of the tent, signaling Yoohyeon to meet her outside before getting up from the table. Yubin gives Yoohyeon’s arm a reassuring squeeze, and then she heads outside. 

The summer air feels nice on her skin when Yoohyeon steps out into the night, the grass cool under her feet.

Minji is leaning against the side of the stables when she spots her. Her hair blows in the gentle breeze, the moonlight painting her soft and silver. Did Minji have any idea how ethereal she looked?

“Hey,” Yoohyeon says softly, settling next to the other woman. 

“Hi,” Minji whispers.

Her smile is soft, and she starts to fidget with her fingers before speaking again, letting the silence fall over them.

“You’re wearing the earrings, after all this time, huh?” Minji looks at Yoohyeon, who hasn’t yet taken off the two silver butterflies for the night.

“Every day,” She starts, looking out over the landscape in front of them. “They helped me a lot. I chose my own destiny, like you said.”

“I’m glad,” Minji trails off, letting the silence fall between them again. It’s comforting, and Yoohyeon feels strangely at peace despite the fact that Minji’s body is just a few inches away from her own. 

There’s a beat, and then she speaks again.

“How long?” Minji says gently, as if she’ll break something if she raises her voice any louder. “You could have told me, you know.”

“Remember the day you dragged me to that jousting match?”

Minji’s eyes widen, and they both laugh a little to dispel the awkwardness.

“That was a really fun day.”

“It was,” and Yoohyeon smiles at the memory.

Minji starts to fidget again, eyes downcast. Yoohyeon recognizes the guilt crossing her face, and her stomach drops. The last thing she wanted was feeling Minji feeling guilty about all of this. 

“It’s... hard to think about that kind of thing right now, to be honest, so…” Minji almost whispers, and Yoohyeon struggles to keep the butterflies in her stomach at bay. 

“I don’t know,” she says, finally. “Maybe one day? It’s hard to say.”

“You don’t have to promise me anything, Minji, really,” Yoohyeon feels the tears well up in her eyes for a moment, less from the rejection and more from the fear of making Minji uncomfortable, of changing things between them now that they’re all together again. 

“I’m so sorry if I made you uncomfortable.”

Minji scoffs, playfully smacking Yoohyeon on the shoulder. 

“Don’t talk like that Yooh, of course you didn’t,” Minji says, speaking up again. “I’m the one who should be sorry.”

“I’ll be okay, really,” Yoohyeon says, and she means it this time, even as she blinks away the tears. 

There’s another beat of silence, and then Minji continues, meeting Yoohyeon's eyes. 

“You’re an incredible woman Yoohyeon, I hope you know that.”

Yoohyeon feels her face flush in embarrassment, but she nods, because she knows it means she’ll get to see that smile on Minji’s face, the one that reaches all the way to her ears. 

She does, and her heart soars. 

“We should get back to the party, huh?” Minji says, standing up from the wall and brushing the dirt off her trousers. 

As Minji walks away, back towards the tent, she turns her head over her shoulder, tossing Yoohyeon a soft smile. Her eyes sparkle like the stars, and Yoohyeon’s stomach flips again, even with the knowledge that Minji didn’t feel the same way. 

“I’m really proud of you, Yoohyeon,” Minji says, and Yoohyeon can practically hear the emotion brimming in those words. 

Minji turns around, and heads back into the tent to join the others. 

Yoohyeon sighs, deeply, resting her head on the wall of the stables. She lets the tears roll down her face once Minji is out of sight, the sobs softly shaking her body.

Despite everything, she’s relieved. Far more relieved than she is sad, and that gives her a strange hope in her chest that she’ll be just fine, whatever happens.

She loves Minji, and Minji loves her too, with everything she has, but in a different way, and that’s okay. Yoohyeon will be okay. Definitely not tonight, and probably not tomorrow, but soon.

Once the tears have dried, Yoohyeon smiles. Her friends are all together again. What more could she possibly want?

She moves from the stables and heads back into the tent to join the others.

**Author's Note:**

> this is my first fic ever - i hope you enjoyed!
> 
> i made a new twitter for posting this kind of content, so come say hi @thankyooh! (planning on making a yoodong au soon and more fic as well!)
> 
> i'm usually @natrifics, so feel free to say hi there as well!


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